Balinese traditional law which is called " adat " regulates
various aspect of life, one is about the status of a man
in the banjar or desa
organization. As a member of the organization he is
only given the full right and obligation when he has
been married, following to the conduct of the adat. This law is mostly already
written with small variation between banjar to banjar.
The full responsibility of a family is at father's hand
since Balinese is following the tradition of patrilineal. The purpose
of marriage according to the tradition of Bali is to
give freedom and limit the romance in the society which
is underlying factor of the harmony of the world and
heavenly structure. A man or woman ideally married once
for life, nurturing children for maximum of 4 persons
which is appear from the number
of birth given name. Although it is exist that
a man married many times and the king of ancient Bali
also practiced polygamy, the society consider the polygamy
is a deviant. Illegal bond is greatly taboo and is forbidden
by adat. In case a man and woman found to have love
affair without legal marriage ceremony, they will be
fined with big ceremony to clean the bad spirit might
caused by this lawless action. In case illegally couple
have child this child is considered impure and must
be given certain ceremony to return child's nature.
So that is a hard burden for Balinese who tried in offending
the adat rules of conduct for love affair.
Some banjars in Bali even practice night time of visit from a youth
to a girl, like a curfew, that if a youth found to still
hosted by a girl in her house without witness of her
parents, or relative usually at that time they will
be brought to the village hall and given the ceremony
of marriage, and ask both parents to complete the wedding.
Today this tradition has been discarded, yet practiced
in more refiner ways. Marriage in Balinese does not
introduce dowry like other ethnic groups in Indonesia,
yet a feast, not big which is probably the influence
of Christian Wedding reception is organized by certain
villages, but only small number of it. This reception
at some banjars sometimes need big costs as to cook
big pig, chicken, fish or others into various cuisines to host the relatives of
both sides, and some good friends in their own banjar
organization or from outside. The feast is basically
only eating together the best Bali food for those who
have better economy, and just standard cooking for fare
economy. The work for preparation of the feast is done
by families or member of the banjar who are invited with
no fee. Some feast, due to time strain or other consideration
hiring a banqueting service and catering a modern way
to organize a feast like an event for modern wedding
reception. It is not rare also the wedding reception
is organized at special place such as hotel or meeting
hall, after the ritual steps are completed.
Until as late as 1940s the marriage between castes were
still having objection, especially woman from higher
castes would not be allowed to merry lower castes. If
it was happened a punishment will be given to the couple
who will be exiled from his village to certain place
far away. The punishment is called " maselong " During
the ancient kingdom of Bali around 18th century the
couple was said to be sent to Selong in central Lombok
for punishment, that was the origin of the word. Basically
it was the feeling of higher castes that they would
feel being humiliated when their daughter married lower
castes, as the status would be going down since a woman
will follow her husband status based on patriarchart tradition.
The procedure toward marriage between man and woman
in Bali has many guide lines such as strongly forbidden
and recommended. Forbidden are among families which
is still related patriarchart until at least 4 generations,
brothers merry sisters for example older brother of
an A family merry older sister of a B family then younger
brother of A family merry younger sister of B family,
and also older brother of A family merry older sister
of B family, and younger sister of A family merry younger
brother of B family and in turn.
Myth of sanctions for these infringement are sickness,
instability or disharmony, and other imbalance of life for the couple, families even to the wider environment such as banjar organization.
A married man or woman who still have love affairs with
others also have punishment after death at the here
after. A family is ideally giving children in the past
maximum 4. While since 1970s Balinese has a strong awareness
of the responsibility of growing children and limit
their family for maximum of 2 children. This is the
difference between modern Balinese and Javanese, South
Sulawesi, and Lombok, although in the root of descendant
is the same. Today almost 99% Balinese family has 2
children while in Java, South Sulawesi and Lombok a
family of 40 years old can be found to have 8 to 12
children especially among poorer areas, and some at
more learnt people. In Lombok with the existence of
seasonal mass marriage has doubled the number of population
within 5 years. An indication of high growth of Population
in Indonesia outside above mentioned areas seems exist
in South Kalimantan, at Banjar, and Madura island.
Javanese does not yet see this critical responsibility.
Some of the story concerning marriage in Bali can be
seen in the form of pictures like a comic on the ceiling
of Kerta
Gosha the remains of Klungkung kingdom in the city
of Klungkung( now Semarapura ). This place is one stop for a
sightseeing to east Bali or Besakih temple. A site with information on
Balinese and mariage arrangement can be visited here Wedding on Bali
Diving tour to Tulamben east Bali can also stop
here as it is on the way back from the site.
If we see the steps of a wedding ceremony which is in Bali called "Nganten" is consist of some stages. Now days a Nganten will always be initiated
by the couple from making acquaintance of each other until coming to the consensus of living together
tied in the marriage with the witness of both parents and families. If all of them agreed and the step
toward the marriage got approval, then the parent and families of the man will come and inform the
parent of the woman that their son firmly request their daughter. This step is called Memadik, meaning
informal request while introducing the parent and families of the man to parent and families of the
woman. Let's say that from woman parties basically agreed. Second step is a formal request
called " Ngidih " or " Ngunduh ", where the parents, families and the formal and informal leaders of
the village of the man will come to escort the family of the man to the parents of the woman. Here the
involvement of village formal leader will discuss about the demographic status in relation with the
residency requirements, while the traditional leaders will discuss about the traditional obligation and
right of a woman that married to outsiders or insiders resident in their village and the obligation of
the parents of the man toward the village of the woman.
In most cases during Ngidih, the temple
ceremony called "Mapamit" is organized at once. Mapamit means such as farewell, but not a party, where
the woman ask permission to their parents, families, traditional organizations where she was member,
ancestors, and the spirits of what her families believe in, including the manifestation of the almighty
gods that she and her people in the village always worship. This is followed by a religious ceremony at
the village of the man such as an information to the whole entities of the village that the village
receive a new member and be considered as the same status of the other members. Here again the making
of offering for ritual become the most focus of man families. The ritual is called " Masakapan " or
Maperebuan ". Third step is informing back to the parents and family of the woman that all procedures
are fulfilled at the village of the man. This step also involves the making of offerings to be
sacrificed to the family temples, village temples, and the family temple of the woman. This step is
called " Ngaba Jaja" meaning bring souvenir. Traditionally the event of Nganten up here is finished.
At some village still some additional event such as a sacrificial event called " Klaci " meaning that
the parents of the woman must conduct a ceremony at the village temple and donating a pig, or rice to
the member of the village to make the ceremony conducted. This ceremony is probably come from a
tradition of ancient resident group that prevent their member from living out their group, so senses a
fine. This type of ritual is very rare
In most cases all above steps are not at a one time finish. Between Mamadik, Ngidih, Masakapan and Ngaba
Jaja can be quiet a distance of time, depending on the economic situation of the family of the man.
Masakapan and Ngaba Jaja for example can be realized years after the Ngidih and Maperebuan. Some are
even after having grand children, or after death at some places due to the complicated ritual
requirements. Where is wedding could be attributed for Balinese marriage? It is really hard to make the
comparison, yet very recently, not older then 1960s, the tradition of Christianity such as wedding
reception does influence Balinese Nganten, especially inviting far distance friends, superiors, or s
taffs. Normally this reception is organized together during the Ngidih event which is directly followed
by Masakapan. But some organized this reception during Ngidih, and some during Masakapan. During
Masakapan without the influence of Christian tradition, the member of the village or relative will
without invitation come to the event bringing rice, coconut, sugar, egg, or any product of the farming.
With the influence of wedding reception, now the member of the village or far relatives if they know
will come at the time of reception. Indeed delicious meals are prepared for. Very lately a new tradition
again influenced the process of Masakapan that is the making of envelope box. Even some has enough
courage to write an invitation card, and further even have bold courage to write on the invitation
" sorry we do not receive souvenir " and this phrase has been in acclamation translated into money in
envelope. |